I was blessed to grow up in a solid Christian home. The middle of seven children, I was raised in an environment where God-centered faith was lived out before my eyes. As far back as I can trace, strong Christian conviction and devotion to Jesus Christ have been defining marks of my family heritage. For example, my maternal grandparents, Billy and Ruth Graham, have served God faithfully for the last 65 years. No one in history has preached to more people than my granddad. My dad is a well respected psychologist who has always put service to God first and service to others second. My mom is an award-winning Christian writer whose ministry to women has literally touched all parts of the globe. I’ve been blessed with a remarkable (albeit imperfect), God-given heritage that fills me, even at this moment, with a deep sense of humility and gratitude. Life for me, though, has not been a “bed of roses.”
It’s not an excuse, but I found it difficult growing up as a middle child. At times I was bunched with the “older ones”, and at times I was bunched with the “younger ones”. I ended up, it seemed, bearing the responsibilities of both and enjoying the privileges of neither. I wasn’t sure who I was or where I fit in. So instead of “casting my anxiety on Christ”, I turned to the world. My self-centered pursuit of identity culminated at the ripe young age of sixteen when I dropped out of high school and got kicked out of my house. Freed from the constraints of teachers and parents, I committed myself to a reckless lifestyle with “no boundaries”, pursuing pleasure harder than most. It wasn’t, however, until after I had lived this way for many years that I began to realize my so-called freedom had made me a slave to desires and habits that were destroying my soul. I had been seeking placement so vigorously that I was unconscious of just how displaced I had become. The world had not satisfied me the way it had promised. I hungered desperately for something, Someone, “out of this world.”
During this season of severe personal crisis, God brought me to the end of myself. He brought me to the sober-minded realization that he made us for himself and our hearts grow restless until we find our rest in him. He helped me to see that my internal hunger for identity could only be found in a relationship with him. Furthermore, he showed me that in Jesus I have a great high priest who, on the cross, faced the crisis of isolation I was facing. In addition, because Jesus “rose from the dead and ascended into heaven” (where he is presently reigning and yet returning) there is light at the end of the tunnel. In him, there is a guarantee of better things to come. Because Christ rose from the crisis of sin and death, we who are in Christ will one day rise from the crisis of sin and death. My prayer is that you too will realize that there is no saner place to turn in times of isolation and disappointment than to the one who has been where we are and who can, consequently, lead us to where he now is.